August 22, 2008

Introducing Kathy

A few years ago I acquired the nickname Kathy for my slightly sassier alter-ego that appears after half a glass of wine.  I am a hyper-observant twenty-three year old with ADD-esque thought patterns.

A mere billion years late, I am finally joining the blogosphere.

Honestly, I’m a bit self conscious about blogging and whether people will read this and think what I often think when I stumble upon a new blog:

  • This person is a complete narcissist. Why do they think anyone cares about the trauma of their recent breakup?
  • This is not well-written. This is not funny. This is a sad attempt at online entertainment.
  • Again, who cares?

Despite my reservations, I clearly have enough narcissism stowed away somewhere to think that the rest of the online world would be better off if they had the opportunity to hear my ramblings on a daily basis.

I graduated from Rutgers University in 2007 after reading thousands of pages of English and Spanish literature and eating hundreds of dollars worth of cinnamon oreo ice cream.

I worked in Manhattan for a year doing healthcare PR. I commuted four hours a day to get there from central New Jersey. This can be referred to as "the lost year." I was miserable, quit, went to Spain, came home and spent a lot of time by the pool.

I am now trying to figure out what to do with my life. I am beginning to concoct increasingly bogus plans since I have eliminated virtually all full-time job options as horrible breeding grounds of boredom and torture. Whatever I decide to do, I would like to make obscene amounts of money that would allow me to live in a beautiful exposed-brick-laden penthouse somewhere in the Village in NYC. Suggestions are welcome, as long as you are willing to support my delusions.

Food consumes approximately 88% of my thoughts every day, including what I have eaten, what I am currently eating, and what I plan on eating next. If I am working in any kind of office, I have a designated snack drawer. On trips or any kind of extended travel, I bring a feedbag. I have the constant, fickle cravings of a pregnant woman. I think it’s a sin to skip breakfast. I want to love to cook, but really all I want to do is eat what someone else has already prepared for me.

The other 12% cannot even be categorized because it is a massive jumble of hyperactive, obsessive, random thoughts. Because I've started a blog, you are now privy to a small portion of this jumble. Lucky you.
I tend to peoplewatch more often and more intensely than the average person. I intend to share my thoughts on that quite often.

I am very politically incorrect. Prepare yourself. I seem to have gotten considerably less tolerant of the human race over the past five years. I also harbor a considerable degree of road rage.

I wish that the U.S. would ban SUVs and skyscrapers. We should also institute the whole European plazas-everywhere thing. And tapas.

I have trouble telling stories in a linear fashion. I’m warning you now.

I enjoy: the best time of day, wine so sweet it tastes like juice, oatmeal with chocolate chips, tapas, autumn, bread, bookstores, plazas, driving with the windows down and AC on, RU, Audrey Hepburn movies, ballet, "yikes," virtually every dress ever made by BCBG, la lengua española, Old Spice deodorant, yellow gold, roundabout stories, the beach (particularly at the BTOD) , recently vacuumed rooms, New Jersey

I have issues with: mayonnaise, people who like to hear themselves talk, heavy breathers, most dogs (and people who thinks their dogs are people), sniffling, remaining sedentary, loud public nose-blowing, long commutes, overtime


The City Sage said...

I hate other people more and more with each passing year! And yet I find myself in love with you...

Can we be new best friends? Here are my qualifications:

1. The time you spent working in New York sounds a lot like the time I spent working in New York. Though admittedly my commute from Brooklyn and back wasn't quite so long. But I sympathize all the same. My brand shiny new husband has his own two lost years to lament as well...

2. I don't like eating much (ugh, it's a chore and a necessary evil) but I love to cook and bake...and subsequently to feed my creations to others!

3. I make myself use hippy deodorant with no evil chemicals, but if I hadn't gotten the 'no aluminum' speech from my mother I would be using all spice. the men's kind. so that throughout the day i could sniff myself and pretend that there is a really hot guy leaning in to do naughty things with me. (hey, even married gals can dream).

4. Sometimes I get so mad at strangers that I want to hit them. This is especially true when I see them being evil to their children. Or when they have gross pimples that they refuse to address in the privacy of their own home.

5. I might be pulling 14 hour days but they are completely of my own making as I try to make something of whatever talent or ability that I have. Martha Stewart still hasn't come knocking on my door so I just have to make my own empire from scratch. So far no one's paying to be a part of said empire.

6. I am considering signing up for a course entitled 'Ballet for Absolute Beginners'. I am taking applications for a superior ballerina to be my mentor.

7. I hate fatness. On that note, the gym was pretty okay. I did a conditioning class, my first in ages, and I confirmed my suspicions that I've seriously let myself go since my wedding in August. No way am I going to be one of those newlyweds who descends into slovenly-ness, so at least I'm doing something to nip it in the bud I guess. Plus I don't want anything to interfere with my plans of becoming a yummy mummy some years down the line.

So, am I qualified?

Pace said...

Hi, Kathy!

Another visitor from Chuck's blog here. *waves hi*

On the subject of figuring out what to do with your life, you may enjoy A Brief Guide to World Domination. (:

Looking forward to reading more!

Johnny Truant said...

In a quest to become more spiritually aligned, I'm trying to do away with my life's axiom.

But it remains for now: "People are stupid."

Zoe said...

Kathy, the similarities are becoming deliciously eerie!

I, too, graduated from RU in 2007. And I studied comparative literature, focusing mostly on Hispanic and French (and a bit of English) lit! I spent junior year in Spain.

Why didn't we know each other at RU? Can't wait to get to know you now :-D!

Anonymous said...

I too had a lost year. I refer to it as hell year in my blog.

Because of the year I spend in hell, I now have a super power. I can survive anything. There is no job, boss, or child that can ruffle my feathers.

Teresa Wu said...

You are SO FREAKING FANTASTIC, and your about page basically described myself. Down to the feedbag. LOL.

Can't wait to read more.

Meg said...

I want to quit MY job and go to Spain. I could blog from there. Sigh.

cassie @ hi sugarplum! said...

you are awesome and i shall blog stalk you now...unless i'm eating...or grumbling about the neighbor's dog...or 'brake-checking' the SUV behind me...or vacuuming myself out of a room.

Kelsey (Happyolks) said...

Can we be friends? No but really. :)

the sassy kathy said...


Saphira26 said...

I'm also 26 in NJ trying to figure out what the heck to do with my life. I just started a blog yesterday and I'm not quite sure what I'm doing lol. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.