Daily Commute

Dear Route 1,

You are the worst.

Literally nothing is worse than you.

You are number one in the realm of awful.

I want to stab you in asphalty heart until you are wiped from the face of the garden state.

I would also kill off your evil minx of a cousin, Route 27, who absorbs your sloppy seconds and becomes awful by default.

Black Sentra occupied by two Indian fellows - you are also the worst.

When I finally happened upon a brief strip of traffic-free roadway you proceeded to drive so. slowly. in. front. of. me. that I wanted to inflict damage upon your vehicle.

It took me 1 hour and 45 minutes to get to work (a distance of merely 19 miles).

Beware coworkers.

I am on the brink.

Spotted on Route 1

Tuesday, October 25th - 6pm rush hour

Woman on the side of the road

large DSLR camera around her neck

standing directly over a deer corpse

busily snapping pictures

You can't make this stuff up.

Spotted on Route 1

Gold camry.
Woman driver.

Painting.

Her.

Nails.

No joke.

Daily Commute

Sad when you become elated - completely and utterly elated - because you had a "breeze" of a commute - a mere 55 minutes today! Inevitably due to the fact that a huge percentage of the Route 1 population has taken off in anticipation  of the long weekend, and is probably frenetically packing the SUV for a jaunt down the shore.

Spotted on Route 1:

- A woman inching her way thru traffic while staring at herself in the rearview mirror and plucking her eyebrows. (A new one. Have seen a lot of makeup-applying and hair-doing, but never any legitimate plucking.)

- A crowned toddler princess holding court from the back of her mama's station wagon.

- A hoodlum of geese swaggering down the shoulder of the highway.

Daily Commute

- The entire Northeast Corridor train line shut down this morning due to "low voltage". (Wtf does that mean?) When it finally resumed, hour plus delays. The husband will be working from home.

- A friend's car died on the ramp to Route 78. She is also now working at home.

- A family friend driving down Rt 523 towards Tewsbury spotted a baby bear cub nearing the Rt 78 entrance ramp.

- Nothing of note on my commute - it only took an hour! (it's so sad that "only an hour" is something to be excited about! - aside from seeing a smushed squirrel carcass and some foolhardy fool woman reading from a scrap of paper and transposing whatever INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT nonsense written on said scrap of paper via text message... while barrelling down Rt 1.

Just another day in the life of NJ commuting hell...

Daily Commute

I want to stab Route 1 in it's pot-holed heart until it shrivels up and dies and disappears.

To Mr. out-of-state plates:

If you are in a left turn lane, that means you must turn LEFT. If you realize at the last minute you have erred, every vehicle possesses a mysterious little device called a TURN SIGNAL that will enable you to alert fellow drivers that you are about to carreen into their lane.

To the dude-who-thinks-he's-cool in the blue car:

Just a brief reminder that you, sir, are in a 3,000+ pound vehicle. Not on your couch.

PUT DOWN YOUR FREAKING PHONE AND WATCH THE ROAD.

To the mowers who thought it was a great idea to trim the grass along Rt 1 at rush hour on a weekday morning:

No words for you.

(at least none that would be permissible on this blog)

Driving in New Jersey - particularly anywhere in the Route 1 vicinity - will suck up your soul and spit it out in the middle of the highway and run it over. Over. And over. And over again.