December 10, 2008

A Day in The Life


A stimulating breakdown of Tuesday, December 9, 2008.  

8:35 a.m. - Wake up.  Feel pleased that I slept past 7 am today.  Hooray!

8:40 a.m. - Change into sweatpants and haul my laptop downstairs to the kitchen table where I set up shop.

8:45 a.m. - Make tea.  Drink tea. 

8:50 a.m. - Eat Wegman's 7-grain bread with cream cheese and raspberry jelly, like I do EVERY morning.

8:55 a.m. - Rhapsodize about the glorious deliciousness of said bread, how it is so perfect, so tasty, so crunchy so sweet!

9:00 a.m. - Refill tea.

9:05 a.m. - Read email.  Read blog comments.  Post in blog.  Check blog visitor stats.  Check Twitter.  Check Facebook.

9:35 a.m. - Start reading the 72 blogs in my Google Reader, amidst reading email, reading blog comments, checking visitor stats, checking Twitter, checking Facebook.  

10:55 a.m. - Refill tea. 

11:00 a.m. - Microwave one of Mama's homemade chocolate chip banana muffins for 12 seconds (exactly 12!  no more, no less!).  Consume the oozing chocolaty goodness.

11:10 a.m. - Expound upon the melty heaven that is a warmed-up chocolate chip banana muffin.  Is there anything better?  Anything more delicious?  No.  No, I dare-say not.

11:15 a.m. - Search for jobs.  Apply for jobs.  Narrow eyes and make bitter comments about the lack of available jobs and how I will never get a job and I will never move out and I will live with my parents forever and be destitute and only be able to afford porridge.  

11:20 a.m. - Mama becomes scared and relocates to another room.

11:25 a.m. - Continue reading blogs.  Post in blog.  Check Twitter.  Check Facebook.  Check weather.com.  

11:45 a.m. - Refill tea (no wonder I need whitestrips).

1:05 p.m. - Eat vanilla yogurt with fresh strawberries and some Quaker oats sprinkled on top.  Vow to stop buying strawberries and blueberries because they are very out of season and creeping their way up to $1000 per carton.  

1:10 p.m. - Brush teeth.  (Yes.  You read correctly.  In my Internet-induced haze, sometimes I lose track of time...  I am disgusting.)

1:15 p.m. - Read blogs.  Post in blog.  Check Twitter.  Check Facebook.  Bemoan laziness.  Bemoan worthlessness.  Bemoan joblessness.  Bemoan moneylessness.  Bemoan boredom.  Bemoan boredom.  Bemoan boredom.

2:30 p.m. - Complain about fireplace smell pervading the house.  

3:3o p.m. - Finally begin doing something productive and semi-work related. 

4:00 p.m. - Eat a clementine.  Yum.  Clementines are so good.  This is a good sweet batch.  I love clementines.  So much better than oranges.  I hate peeling oranges.  Clementines are delish and tiny and peel-friendly.

4:10 p.m. - Realize it's getting dark.  AT FOUR O'CLOCK.  Feel angry at daylight savings time.  Change into walking clothes (aka a different pair of sweatpants).  Put on sneakers.  

4:15 p.m. - Go for a walk around the block.  Oh.  This is what air feels like.  This is the outdoors.  This is called leaving your house.  Hear gunshots echoing off the trees and clouds and driveways.  Hunting season.  Walk a little faster.  Hear more gunshots as tribes of little deer finally get what they deserve mwahahaha meet a tragic end.  See two boys pushing a bicycle with a basket on the back.  They lift out a teeny little golden retriever puppy and put it on the driveway where it stands on it's little legs and looks around curiously.  I try very hard not to run up the driveway screaming "Pupppyyyy pupppyyy play with me!"  I walk backwards for a good five minutes staring at the little golden bundle.  Keep walking.  Now it's dark.  Not even 5 o'clock.  Another cranky internal diatribe about winter and daylight savings time.  

5:00 p.m. - Do a little more work-related stuff.  Then read blogs.  Check site stats.  Check Twitter.  Check Facebook.  Post on blog.  

6:00 p.m. - Close laptop in a frenzy for the first time.  All.  Day.  Vow not to go on the computer until bedtime.

6:05 p.m. - Vow to finish Tropic of Cancer by the end of the day because the library has officially locked my account and left threatening voicemails because it is... um, 3 weeks... overdue and someone else has requested it and I have had it for a long long time.  

6:45 p.m. - Become ravenously hungry.  Eat a salad.  

6:55 p.m. - Eat dinner.  Crab cakes, Martha's mac & cheese and broccoli.  Yum.  Eat some more mac & cheese.  Eat some more crab cake.  Full.

7:30 p.m. - Clear table.  Load dishwasher.  What a helpful daughter.

7:35 p.m. - Complain about fireplace smell pervading the house.  What an annoying daughter.

7:40 p.m. - Take a shower.  

7:50 p.m. - Read read must read must finish must return to library before they come and beat me.

10:00 p.m. - Watch House Hunters.  

10:30 p.m. - Make daily nighttime oatmeal snack.  Watch House Hunters International.

11:00 p.m. - Read read must read must finish must return to library before they come and beat me.

12:10 a.m. - Very sleepy.  Can't go on.  Twenty pages left.  Brush teeth (hooray!).  Call Jared.  Goodnight!

6 comments:

Mishi said...

Lol. This post is amazing. This was totally me during the summer - minus the getting dark part. That's totally me now, except that I'm at work all day, and leave when the sky is dark which makes me feel upset. I love the "day in the life"/time updated style. It's short and punchy - it works very well.

Thanks for making me laugh at work.

R.A. Porter said...

I know you're depressed about the whole employment thing, but you made me laugh. And I'm having a crappy week, so thanks!

JenX67 said...

It's amazing how some experiences are so universal. I, too, have overdue library books; I paid $9.89 for a bag of frozen blueberries. I nearly fainted at the checkout stand. I drink hot tea as often as possible and remain completely pissed off about daylight savings time. Seriously pissed off, I say.

I've been away for a few days - at a funeral - so will have to catch up on my blogs. I *try* to keep up with about 30 blogs, but it would be 300 if only I had the time. The world is rich with stories. I want to read most of them.

MARKOS! said...

get a job!!! and why are you going to bed at lunchtime???????????

Trina said...

too bad we cant get paid for 'savouring the moment' You are good at that, love the way you describe, what can be mundane, with relish!

citysage said...

Hey! Your walking clothes are the same as MY walking clothes! I let my clothes reflect my mood: black sweatpants for 'bored' and blue sweatpants for 'really bored'. Jeans? I used to like them but compared to stretch cotton, I find that they chafe.