January 31, 2009

GAH!


These may be the boots of my dreams.  Not the look, which is rather basic really.  But the fact that they could very possibly succeed in doing what no boot has ever done before... accommodate my giant calves!  You know, I never considered myself to have huge calves, but since hunting for something as simple as basic black riding boots, it has come to my attention quite glaringly that yes, indeed, I possess calves of monstrous proportions.  Two decades of ballet class clearly does not help one find footwear, that's for damn sure.  

So these lovelies not only possess the basic visual requirements, but also have a full side zipper, and best of all... wait for it... the ENTIRE back is stretchy fabric elastic!  It's the pregnancy pant of boots!  These babies should surely mold to the unnaturally large size of the gastrocnemius, no?

The only dilemma?  They Do.  Not.  Have.  My.  Size.

Surely sadder words were never spoken (ahem, typed).

I may have to go ahead and just order half a size larger anyway, in the vague hopes that the stars will align and they will fit.  

What?  A recession?  What?  Unemployed?  

Oh.

Right...

Note:  Suggestions from other owners of large calves are welcome.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wear slippers.

Michelle said...

Oh sweetie, so sorry to hear this. I too am cursed with calves of unusual size. SOOOO, JCREW has extended calf boots, and I got some boots at Anne Taylor Loft, crazy I know, but they are positively billowy in the calf. ALSO, frye villager pull-on, not the tie up kind, have like a 16 circumference in the calf...so do a vintage boot brand called DEXTER, DEX, if you search on Ebay. CHEERS

margalit said...

I not only have large calves (thank you years of bike riding up mountains in Colorado), I have huge feet (thank you twins who grew my feet from a 9.5 B to an 11 ee in ONE FREAKING PREGNANCY, but I'm not bitter) and finding shoes is almost impossible for me. For larger calves, if you want real English riding boots, buy them in Men's sizes. They come with a 17" calf. Really. And they are virtually the same except they are wider as well.

If that won't work for you, and I hate to even suggest this, go to women's clothing catalogs. Like silhouettes or ulla popkin. They do have larger calved boots. They can have horrid UGLY boots, too, but some are usable and some are even decent.

I empathize. Really I do.

jenx67 said...

oh, here's my tragic boot story. I weighed 137 pound. I was 5'4. I ordered these great navy suede boots (hard color to come by) to go with this even greater CK dress. They come in the mail - don't remember from what catalog - and they totally won't zip. They are nearly two inches from coming together. Devastating.

the sassy kathy said...

thank you so much for the support my fellow large-calf-sympathizers. i appreciate all the recos! i'll definitely have to check them out.