March 5, 2009

Dum dum dum dum

Some of you may have realized from previous posts that I am not the hugest fan of the whole wedding hoopla. OK, fine. "Not the hugest fan" is kind of a euphemism for "I think it is all the hugest load of materialistic crap."

There, I've said it.

I think the whole fancy schmancy Save the Dates, mile-high centerpieces, cake-crafted-in-the-shape-of-an-Orca-whale, $10k Vera Wang dress is a huge insult to the institution of marriage.

Basically, people want to have a huge blowout performance, flaunt their wealth, and try and upstage their friends.

I despise it.

My wedding hatred has increased exponentially over the years, as I have more of a first hand look into the inanity involved with the whole process. Suffice it to say that I have vowed to myself to never, ever, be a Bridezilla. In fact, I consider myself the anti-Bridezilla.


That was before I was cursed with The Power of The Ring, which, wouldn't you know, has Crazy-Making properties all it's own.

Within 24 hours of getting engaged, I had been bombarded with the question "So have you set the date? What are you thinking? Do you have a time frame yet?" approximately ten thousand times. Who knew some diamonds came along with so much pressure?

The low point was when Jared and I decided to create a preliminary guest list, just for kicks, just to see what we're looking at, and... wow. Mistake. Big mistake. HUGE. Let's just say, within minutes I was all Bridezillaed out and snarling evil ring-induced retorts about some of Jared's choices.

I've chosen to think of that Guest List Bridezilla Hour as my wake up call. In my desperate resolve to have a mellow, fun. and completely non-stressful wedding, I started stressing out pretty much immediately.

I will be trying my very very hardest not to fall prey to the Bridal Crazies again.

I'm letting you all know in advance, not to get too excited about a deluge of wedding posts. And be warned that I will NOT be having Save the Dates, a poofy dress, floral centerpieces, favors, a wedding party, or any of that other malarkey.

My sister, on the other hand, may be well on her way to the land of the Maidzilla...
{Photo via lenacorwin - aka a perfectly lovely, mellow outdoor wedding}


Anonymous said...

NO WHALE CAKE?!? That's a deal breaker!! -Jared

Stacey Snacks said...

Definitely, you must have a Fudgey the Whale cake!

Stop complaining, and go with the flow. Enjoy the pressure.

Wait another few years till they ask "when are you having a baby???".

My reply. "It's none of your God Damn business!"

Anonymous said...

My advice: do the parts you think are fun, ignore the parts you don't. I think the best way to get the most out of your wedding planning/wedding day is to remember that you really are a princess when you're a bride, and people have just as much fun treating you like a princess on that day as you have pretending to be one---but the best princesses, as we all know, were the ones that were also humble, graceful, and beautiful on the INSIDE too! And the girls who become bridezillas forget about that last bit, I think!

Linda said...

So how about CUPCAKES in the shape of a whale?!!!

Trina said...

Marking the occasion, important. Spending and 'overdoing' it, overrated. Planning for the honeymoon and rest of life, paramount! It's your commitment together, not the hoopla that count.
(Married 25 yrs)
PS, we had kids 11 yrs after marriage, people stopped asking about that one HAHA

Amanda said...

hahaha i love the ring-induced powers you've assumed :)