December 27, 2008

Say Cheese!

For a long time, I deprived myself of pizza.  I thought it was bad.  A bad food.  A fatty cheesy slab of badness that I should stay away from.  

I said, Kathryn, order a salad.  Order some grilled chicken.  Make yourself a sandwich.  Do not eat the pizza.  And I did not.  I did not eat the pizza for a long time. 

But I am dating Jared.  And Jared is The Pizza King.  This is not an exaggeration.  If there was a realm of pizza, Jared would be ruler.  There is no food about which he is more passionate.  He lives in a town known for its magical pizza.  He is surrounded by pie-throwing mobsters Italians.  

I fought off his influence for a long time, but I could hold out no longer.  I had a taste of his pizza.  I had a slice of his pizza.  I began craving pizza.  I needed my own pizza.  All.  The.  Time.  

Now, when I drive to Jared's house, I have a Pavlovian reaction.  From the minute I get on Parkway North, I begin to salivate.  I dream of marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese and oil and dough.  I think of brick ovens.  I imagine flour flying as pizzas dance in the air, spin in circles, land gracefully on waiting hands.  

I have become a pizza addict.  I need it at least once a week.  When I get to Jared's I say "Hi Honey" and what I mean is "GET ME PIZZA NOW BOY!"  I am ashamed.  It's an addiction.  He has me under his spell.  The spell of him and his evil pizza.  

Note:  This post was composed last night, after the consumption of two slices of pizza and one...okay, two...fine, maybe a little more than two....glasses of sparkling wine, at which point I found it incredibly necessary to write a long and detailed post about the attributes of pizza.  Please keep this in mind when questioning my mental well-being after reading the above.


Savvy Mode SG said...

oh i love pizza. only a couple slices every other week or so.

The Lil Bee said...

Ha! You'll never guess what I had for dinner. Pizza! And salad. No joke. It's too delish to deprive yourself of. Glad you caved.

GEMMERZZ said...

i know what you mean! lucky for me (or not), i'm originally from chicago and cannot find a place with pizza worth craving or salivating over. :(

Trina said...

mmmm, pizzzaaa, lovely, lovely pizza!
natures perfect food?

carma said...

one cannot thrive without pizza..

Anonymous said...

The local UNICO organization of the magical pizza land has filed an EEO complaint against this blogger for their anti-Italian comments. Persons who have made lesser negative complaints have ended up in cement boots. Beware......


Anonymous said...


are you saying my son is a bad influence??????

remember, we have one pizzeria per every 1000 population in our little town. We have to have the League of Women Voters count the votes in the annual Best Pizza contest to avoid graft and corruption!


Blogger In Middle-earth said...

Kia ora Kathy

We make our own home made pizzas. YUMMMM! The kids choose what they want on their's - usually they choose good, healthy toppings.

The bases are thin and tasty. I've looked at the pizza made this way, every which way. Looks jolly healthy tucker to me.

Catchya later
from Middle-earth

GEMMERZZ said...

hey miss kathy... i tagged you for a meme if you're up for it!!